30 April 2011

Remember When?: GQ covers, Part III: 2005 - 2007.


It's a lazy Saturday afternoon, let's pound out three more years.  These three were particularly weak, with only three or four legitimate choices peppering the collection each year.  At least 2006 and 2007 demonstrated a temporary departure from pushing the 'half-naked covergirl' strategy so hard.  And we see a glimpse of the good ol' days on the cover of GQ's 50th Anniversary issue in October 2007.

If you're behind, check out Parts I and II here.

January 2005.  As always, I give the boys over at GQ a break in January.  I'm nice like that.
February 2005.  I have a love/hate relationship with Jamie Foxx.  For every Collateral, there is a Stealth.  For every this, there is a that.  But I applaud his sartorial originality.
March 2005.  While I disagree with their labeling Crowe as a Top 10 Actor, and he is far from a fashion icon in any sense of the term (exhibit A, exhibit B, exhibit C), we all know how useless hotel concierges can be, so you gotta respect him.
April 2005.  Wake Up to Jessica Alba?  Yes, please.  GQ knows sex sells.  On a completely unrelated note, I am now going to try to find a way to order back issues.  I'll post an update when I find out.
May 2005.  If you've spent any time reading this blog, you can probably guess how I feel about Christensen.
June 2005.  You can probably also guess how I feel about Brad Pitt.  Awesome in every way.  One of the few modern movie stars who have the elusive triple threat of indie, box office, and fashion cred.  Anyone else think it odd that a similar contemporary, George Clooney, is nowhere to be found thus far?
July 2005.  Ugh.
August 2005.  Ugh.
September 2005.  FYI, I wasn't getting lazy; those last two covers only deserved a grunt each.  This one, on the other hand, is spot-on.  Post-draft and prior-semi-mullet, he brought style to a league that desperately needed it.
October 2005.  I've never cared for Cameron Diaz.  Even at the peak of her career.  Which Fall 2005 definitely wasn't.  Can't argue with that side-boob, though.
November 2005.  I hate Bloom.  I've never seen any indication he has any talent.  I'd say this is catering to teeny-boppers, but I find it difficult to deny his fashion sense.  His haircut on this cover aside.
December 2005.  Rachel Getting Naked, the prequel.
December 2005 (alternate cover).  Ahh, 50 Cent.  A fashion visionary for our time.  You know what, though, although 90% of the time he dresses like a douche, he cleans up nice.
December 2005 (alternate cover).  I was curious as to whether Vaughn was still dating Aniston at the time they shared the cover here.  But nowhere near curious enough to check.  And that's sort of how I feel about Vaughn overall.  I like him, kinda, but I wouldn't miss him.  That is, unless that Swingers sequel that's allegedly in the works ever gets made.
January 2006.  Ahh, the Comedy issue.  Why GQ insists on digging such a sartorially-bankrupt mine is beyond me.  At least this year they get it out of the way in January.
February 2006.  R.I.P. Heath.  Had the potential to become one of those contemporary triple threats, a la Pitt and Clooney.  Shame.
March 2006.  Much like his unjustifiably popular show, Fox is overrated and easily forgotten.  Where is he now?  Ah, yes, working on a film with Tyler Perry.  Awesome.
April 2006.  I feel like a movie critic faced with the task of reviewing Scary Movie 25, or whatever was the most recent installment.  How can I criticize something that is critic proof?  Look at those headlines!  'The New Christian Sex Craze'???  Really, GQ?
May 2006.  Fine.  Any man who establishes himself as a sartorial icon in an ill-fitting dress shirt and boxers is beyond reproach.  Plus, check out his drink of choice in that video.  Awesome.
June 2006.  WHY must EVERY woman put on the cover be HALF-NAKED?
July 2006.  Wait, what?  Didn't we get the obligatory comedy-star-cover out of the way in January?  Fuck.
August 2006.  No complaints.  As I've said, Timberlake is quite sound, stylistically-speaking.
September 2006.  Owen is awesome.  Although their headline prediction has yet to come to fruition, Children of Men is one of the greatest films of all time, and the fact that the man is a born James Bond and yet isn't interested in the role makes me love him.  Anyone seen Croupier?  No?  Get on that.
October 2006.  Never understood the world's fascination with Hartnett.  He seems to have about as much personality as Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller.  And any movie he's been in that's any good was good in spite of him (exhibit A, exhibit B, oh god there isn't even an option for exhibit C...).  Perhaps the reason he's more or less dropped off the face of the earth...
November 2006.  Wade, eh?  Ya, he looks good here.  And here.  And here.  And here.  All I can say is, ugh.
July 2006.  Wait, no.  He's on it AGAIN? December 2006.  Wow.
December 2006 (alternate cover).  Great actor.  Mediocre dresser.  I find his personal style to be incredibly boring when not highly questionable.
December 2006 (alternate cover).  Here's a man who's style is not in question.  It is unquestionably bad.  I don't even need to look for outside links to support my claim.  Just look at him here!
January 2007.  De Niro shares more than his acting talent and a close professional relationship with Martin Scorsese with DiCaprio.  He also shares his questionable style.
February 2007.  Meh.  Average choice at best.  But as I said, I have a soft spot for ol' Jarhead.
March 2007.  Well, the headline's prediction took a couple extra years (and another cover appearance) to come true.  We're still waiting for him to show any sartorial promise.
April 2007.  Stay classy, GQ.
May 2007.  You know how I feel about comedians.  At least this one is culturally relevant.
June 2007.  Well, it has been over two years since we last saw Jessica Alba grace the cover.  It's about time.
July 2007.  What a great pose.  She doesn't look awkward or mildly retarded at all.
August 2007.  I don't foresee ever saying anything truly negative about Damon, save for one quick point: the only thing surrounding Damon more questionable than his style sense is his People's Sexiest Man Alive win.  And maybe Ben Affleck (although since he's found directing I can't complain).
September 2007.  OK, a legit cover.  But let me say this: I do not get the hoopla surrounding Obama's allegedly wonderful sartorial sense.  He essentially wears the same shit all the time in business/professional settings, and even that is nothing special.  And don't get me started on his casual outfits.
October 2007.  Awesome cover choice.  I'm going to ignore the other questionable names they chose as cover models (see the right panel of the cover), and just revel in the sheer classiness that is Paul Newman.  He's in a frickin robe, and is the most stylish model so far this year.  Can this be explained? No.
November 2007.  Ah, Gosling; our very own headliner model.  As I said before, Gosling is awesome.  Being Canadian doesn't hurt our appreciation of him (he was in Goosebumps, for chrissakes!).  Potential triple-threat (still needs the box-office cred, though.  Notebook aside).
December 2007.  Style icon, of course, but besides that, perhaps the celebrity who most personifies the millennium's zeitgeist (thus far).  Ya, I'd say he deserves a cover.

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